When there is so much disagreement between people, and our politics feels increasingly socially divided, we can only wonder how we will be able to get over the trauma that Brexit is causing? That’s if we ever do? The trauma and disruption might be so sever that many people never recover and never feel balanced and whole again.
Regardless of our confidence levels, and the degree to which we might think that we have right on our side, and that we are justified in taking the positions that we have, with the stridency that we though has been necessary, we are still going to be affected by both the process and the outcomes.
There will be a need for social therapy to help everyone come to terms with the changes that Brexit will bring about. We don’t go through or observe others going through profound moments of change, without ourselves being deeply affected by that change. We are not unemotional.
We are not disconnected. We share our responsibilities and our social concerns with one another, and we should be very concerned when those links between people living in different communities break down. They are not easily restored.
There is much talk of Gaslighting in parts of the media. It’s a way of describing how manipulation and distortions are practiced in unequal relationships. In toxic and dysfunctional relationships the dominant partner holds power over their subservient mate by psychological force.
They push and test their more compliant partner by reframing the blame for their poor judgement or ill thought through schemes, and deflect any responsibility from themselves and back onto the other person.
We have all experienced being a witness to people in these relationships, and while we can’t intervene, when the relationship is finally ended, we tend to tell our friends that we all thought it was a bad relationship and couldn’t understand why they didn’t do something about it.
Usually this is because the relationship is so toxic that the victim of the bully and manipulator is subsumed into the conceptual framework that has been created. Without the dominant partner they would be worthless, on their own, with no hope of betterment.
I’ve been in a relationship like this, and it was dreadful. You feel trapped and isolated, but when you push-back, then the vitriol and the hate of the bully emerges and knocks you back.
Brexit is being foisted on to a compliant population by a group of manipulative, deceitful and mendacious bullies. They are sociopaths who have no regard for the wellbeing of others, they just want to look good in front of their mates – i.e. Trump.
At some point their will be an awakening that this national gaslighting has been going on, and a lot of people are going to feel hurt, aggrieved and lost because they will know that they were being manipulated and betrayed.
We had better start thinking about how we can get the talking and sharing of our feelings going. There are a lot of people who will need relationship therapy whatever the outcome of Brexit might be. Those of us who are skilled at listening better start thinking about how we can offer our services to help start the reconciliation.